Krank

~The Illnes is coming~ That dream was right, i knew it from the begining that i'm gonna die soon. I feel so fear, but i already knew that, it's my destiny, i can't help it. I think, this illnes is the answer of my request for gonna die. Maybe this is a present for my 20th birthday, God always heard my voice, my pray, and my cried. My time in this world is no longer left, i can feel it by seing the marks on my body, my head and body feels bad. In the moorning a mark was show up on my right shoulder near my neck, in the noon one more also show up on my left. The next day on my right hand, then on my left, and my back too. Everytime more marks show up. What should i do when my hoppe is granted but in other side i feel so fear of gonna die? I knew i'll die alone, without someone i love the most in my side. Is it will be fine?  ~Ill~ There are somethings that i can't tell to you directly, about my love that only for you, about my death illnes. I want you to stay happily, to not worriying about my condition. Live like you are now, and i'll slowly dissapear.  Changing from fans become anti-fans, that's hurt... I'm blaming it to you... Because of your betrayed... Someone who left friends, i just can't get it at all, you're the worst, what the heck you're done? What you're really think? I'm so sorry, i can't love you anymore, you gave me something so painfull, i just wanna forget the memory about you, but that's so hard, since the years you share. That's not simple to just say "sayonara" demo kokoro ga itai kara, doushimasuka? 05.16~Hitori~ Hitori wa sabishii, hito bito ga nai, koi bito ga nai, ai ga nai, suki ga nai, nan de mo nai. Kono sekai ni nani mo nai. Atataku nai. Samui. Kirai, kono sekai kara iki tai, shini tai. Kami-sama ni ai tai. Tanoshii seikatsu wa motte konai. 03.13 ~MPD-Multiple Personality D~ Disatu sisi diriku, aku berharap jangan terlalu 'melihat'ku, di sisi lain dari diriku berusaha menunjukkan keberadaanku, aku punya 2 sisi yang berbeda, sisi yang satu berusaha menyembunyikan sisi yang lain, karena keduanya sangat berbeda. Rasanya seperti tak mengenali, mana diriku yg sebenarnya.